For Better, For Worse, For Back to School Nights, For Boy Scout Meetings

I owe Adventure Guy. He and I are both trying to get back into the swing of the whole working out thing. Except that he has more incentive than I do because he'll be running the Marine Corps marathon in a couple of months. But tonight, he postponed his workout so that I could make it to my Pilates class. My gym offers a number of classes, but I can only make the Tuesday evening and Saturday morning ones because of my work schedule. The last couple of weeks, I've had one thing after another come up, and I've had to skip class.

But tonight, I was set. I was determined to make it to class. I had a plan. I had worked it out with Adventure Guy that he would go run in the early-evening time frame and then take Soccer Boy to the Boy Scout informational meeting at 7:00. I would go to my class from 7:00 to 8:00, and we would all meet up happily afterwards at home. Ah, but the best laid plans o mice an men gang aft agley, and Robert Burns' mouse had nothing on us here in Suburbia tonight.

At 4:00 p.m., my cell phone rang. Gym Girl asked, "Mom, did you remember my Back to School night is from 6:00 to 7:00 tonight?" Uh, no, because it was on my calendar for Thursday night. Gym Girl said that not only was it written in her agenda for tonight but that her teachers also reminded them before they left school today. Great. I double checked the district publication that listed all the Back to School nights....6th grade, Gym Girl's school, yep, Thursday 6:30-7:30. I called the office to double check the night and time. Voice mail. I called the assistant principal's super-secret line (there have to be some benefits to this job). She confirmed a misprint in the district guide and mentioned the correct time in on the marquee outside the school and that there have been reminders in the agenda. Ummm...must not have noticed that.

I called Adventure Guy to inform him of the situation and tell him that I won't be making class after all. He promptly volunteered to go to Back to School night before heading to the Boy Scout meeting. The two schools are close together, and the timing actually worked as well. Since I am working hard on not feeling like I have to do everything myself and taking him up on his many offers to help, I actually agreed to this plan and thanked him. I felt guilty. But I went to Pilates.

I'm convinced that in all marriages, it's the little things that matter. Both the little good things and the little bad things. While seemingly small, Adventure Guy's willingness to put aside his own desires so that he could help me get a little time to myself means so much to me. It's those little gestures that say "I love you, and you're important to me." And year in and year out, I'll take a dozen little kindnesses over a dozen roses any time.

1 Down, 35 To Go

I am truly enjoying my new job. It's exciting to have new challenges. Having been in my previous position for several years, much of my work there had become routine. That said, last week, the first full week of the school year, brought about a number of challenges. When Friday afternoon rolled around, I was thankful for the weekend. I'm hopeful that the remaining 35 weeks of the school year will not be quite so eventful.

Thanks to the people who continued to surf on over to the Suburbs since my last post. My goal is to post at least every other day, which I obviously did not achieve this week. So, to catch up quickly here's what been up in Suburbia since Tuesday.

• I helped host a shower for the new wife of a colleague. It's interesting to see how showers have evolved now that most of the brides involved are no longer 20 somethings. This shower involved dinner at a great restaurant, good wine, lots of laughter, and a limo to make sure no one had to drive after all the fun.
• I dealt with my first PR crisis at work. It's always fun to talk to the media, particularly when our local paper is guaranteed to get something wrong or misquote you. This time they didn't misquote me but they did get some facts wrong. I often had to speak to reporters in my previous position, so at least I'm used to that aspect of things. For this issue, I also was the liaison between the district administration and our school board members, which is a new role for me. I just had to remember my earlier statement about being excited about new challenges while taking on this task!
• Gym Girl had a school crisis involving not being selected for a program she was really hoping for. I'd rather be disappointed a hundred times than have to deal with one of my kids being disappointed. She's dealing with it pretty well now, though she was upset on Friday when she got the news.
• We had a new fence put in since our old one was rotting out at the bottom. The fence is lovely, but it took three days longer than it was supposed to, requiring the dogs to stay in the kennel that much longer as well.
• Adventure Guy's mom gave his step-dad a surprise 65th birthday party. We all went over for a cookout and got to see some family that came in for the occasion.
• My father in law and his wife were in town and visited us from 8:30 to 9:45 a.m. on Saturday. Yes, really.
• Gym Girl and I travelled to the state capital to attend the All-State Gymnastics banquet. Gym Girl was named to the All-State team last spring, and this was the recognition event. She had her name announced and received a plaque.

Amidst all that excitement, we managed a few more mundane things as well. I introduced the kids to one of my favorite television series, Freaks and Geeks. We're through the first season. It's been fun spotting all the actors who went on to big careers. I loved this series when it came out because it captures high school so perfectly, and the kids seem to be enjoying it as much as I did. Hey, it's one aspect of Judd Apatow's work I can actually share with them. It's not likely we'll be taking them to see Knocked Up or Superbad any time soon.

On tap for today is actual relaxation. We went to church and Sunday school, and, while I'm currently doing laundry, my only other big plans for the day involve taking the girls to see The Nanny Diaries. I loved the book and am hoping the movie is better than the reviews indicate!

There's No Crying in Preschool...Or Maybe There Is

After what seems like months of preparation (oh, wait, it was months of preparation), All-American Public Schools opened our doors (some newly refurbished) today for the start of the 2007-2008 school year.

My mommy duties involved delivering all three children to their respective school sites (Yes, I have three children attending three different schools. This will continue for another 5 years until Swim Chick and Gym Girl are together again for high school.) My work duties involved visiting all the classroom buildings at our five elementary school sites. With approximately 4500 students in grades Pre-K through 6th, that's quite a challenge. But, as I learned, not quite as much of a challenge as accomplishing the mommy duties.

We actually got off to a fairly good start this morning in Suburbia. Remember, I am operating in single parent mode since Adventure Guy is off at his sales conference. Having a husband who is an equal partner in this whole raising kids operation is fabulous, but getting used to that level of help and then having it disappear for a week is a challenge. But I digress. Other than a burned bacon incident (Gym Girl and Swim Chick cooked bacon, eggs, and toast this morning), things went well on the homefront, and we were out the door before 7:00 a.m. The plan? Drop Swim Chick off at her school (starts at 7:50 a.m.), swing by Soccer Boy's school to drop him at before school care, then drop off Gym Girl at her school (starts at 7:50 a.m.) and visit teachers and administrators there until time to go back by Soccer Boy's school to pick him up from before care, deliver him to his classroom, and visit more teachers and administrators at his site. It seemed like such a good plan.

Until I hit the traffic. The middle school where Swim Chick attends school is notorious for traffic jams. That is why I left the house at 6:55 to drive 3.5 miles with the target time of arrival being 7:15 or so. I should have known it was a bad sign when the traffic started slowing a good 2 miles from the school. We inched our way along until we finally arrived at the school at 7:30. No problem, I'd just revise the plan, now officially known as "Plan A" and drop off Gym Girl at her school, go to drop of Soccer Boy and return to Gym Girl's school for my visits. The younger two kids' schools are right next door to each other, so this would not be a big deal.

Until we came upon the flipped car. Yes, major wreck on the way to Gym Girl's school. We sat and sat through green light after green light until the police evidently arrived and began directing traffic. By this time, Gym Girl was panicking at the thought of having to get a dreaded tardy slip. Why couldn't all my students at All-American High have been that concerned about being tardy, I ask? I pointed out to her that there are no fewer than five school buses behind us, and that she will be fine. The principals understand traffic issues on the first day. Fortunately, I delivered her under the wire at 7:48 a.m. and she was not subjected to the horrors of the tardy slip.

Things did improve over all once I had everyone delivered. I was even able to reassure a nice couple who had just dropped their child at preschool for the first time. I came upon them first as I witnessed their escape from the classroom, leaving behind a wailing boy on the teacher's lap. I decided visiting another classroom at that point would be nice, allowing the teacher to get things under control without the assistant superintendent watching the process. By the time I had stuck my head in across the hall and made a bit of small talk, I was able to return to the first classroom and observe a content preschooler listening to a story, while still claiming the prime real estate of the teacher's lap. It's amazing what these preschool and kindergarten teachers can do. I watched teachers establishing procedures and building relationships that will carry them through the year, all in the span of a morning. Teachers at older grades do the same, but it's an art when your students are 4 and 5 and may have never been to this place called school before.

I was happy to run into the above mentioned couple later in my rounds of the school. I assured them that, minutes after they left, their preschooler was content and told them that my son had had the same teacher, that they'd be very happy with their son's year with her. They shared that they'd moved back to our state simply so their children could attend All-American Public Schools. It's comments like that that make my day and help me know that I'm where I'm supposed to be, making All-American Public Schools a place where any parent would want to send her children. 2007-2008 is off an running, and it's going to be a great year.

There's A Distinct Possiblity I Have Sunk To A New Low

I just finished reading all the blogs on my links while sitting in the bathtub. I know this is wrong on many levels, but I just couldn't help myself. Does it count that I balanced the computer on the edge of the tub rather than actually holding it over the water? Somehow I'm guessing the folks in IT won't think so. And Adventure Guy would definitely point out that I had crossed the line, that is if he were here to comment!

Usually I have the opportunity to check in to the goings on in the blogosphere during lunch, but with my new job that hasn't been happening. Evenings usually work well, too, but tonight I didn't get home until around 8:00, and then I was doing battle with rampaging ants and falling shower curtains, not to mention dinner preparation.

And, did I mention, my feet were in serious need of soaking? In fact, that's what lured me onto this dangerous path in the first place. I figured, I could just stick my feet in the tub while it filled and do some surfing at the same time. But, of course, I wasn't finished reading when it was time to hop in that beckoning warm, sudsy water. The really scary part is nothing bad happened. No morality tale to keep me from risking water damage in the future. But really, I'm going to reform. I will; I will!

Today was "meet the teacher day" at all our elementary sites in All-American Public Schools. We start school on Thursday. I needed to take both Gym Girl and Soccer Boy to meet their respective teachers, and, in Gym Girl's case, to buy school supplies, pay innumerable other school fees, and decorate her locker. I also wanted to make appearances at the three other sites, particularly in the buildings that were remodeled over the summer. The teaches there have worked tirelessly to get their rooms ready, and I wanted them to know I'd noticed.

So, I left the office at 2:30, went home to pick up my kids, and headed to Soccer Boy's class. Fortunately, we were able to do most of the paperwork and all of the fee paying on Saturday, so all we had to do was deliver his supplies to his classroom, meet his teacher (who was also Swim Chick's 3rd grade teacher), and fill out a bit more paperwork. Swim Chick and Gym Girl visited a few of their old teachers while Soccer Boy and I were in his classroom, and then I dropped Gym Girl off at practice and the other kids back at home. I then spent about 45 minutes at one elementary site that did not have any construction projects before going to one of the intermediate schools and the elementary site with the most extensive renovations. While it was fun to see the classrooms all complete and the happy kids ready for school to start, it was draining walking between the two sites, in heels, with the temperature reaching around 105 degrees.

After a conversation with the principal at the elementary school about her burgeoning class sizes (new developments are going in around her attendance zone, and it's hard to determine exact numbers until everyone actually shows up), I picked Gym Girl up from practice and went to her intermediate school, where I filled out forms and wrote checks in seemingly unending fashion. Much poorer, but with supplies in hand, we went to meet her new teachers. She'll have two teachers this year in a teamed situation. I know one of them well and just met the other, but both have excellent reputations.

Did I mention that all of the above events were the good part of my day? I called from the car to tell Swim Chick to defrost the hamburger meat for the tacos I had planned for dinner. She got the microwave started, and I told her I'd be right home. Do you think this would have been a good time to mention that ants had invaded our pantry? I'm thinking yes, but Swim Chick was evidently thinking no. I arrived; she and Soccer Boy pointed out the ants (they're looking everywhere to get out of this heat), and I spent about twenty minutes clearing things out and killing ants. During this time, I asked Soccer Boy to put his comforter that I had washed over his shower rod since the comforter was a bit damp still. Of course, he managed to pull the entire rod down in the process. I did get it fixed, only to return downstairs to be informed by Swim Chick that she had gotten nail polish on the table runner in the kitchen. Serves me right, I guess, for still having the 4th of July decorations out.

So, can you see why I was driven to escapism in the form of both bubble bath and blog reading? Calgon, take me away!

Sometimes I Hate My Cell Phone

Today was one of my days off this week, though I spent it doing quite a bit of work. While the cell phone is a lovely invention overall, it makes me far too accessible. I got calls from my secretary, the athletic director, the clerk of the school board, and a technology vendor. I also had to set up interviews with potential history teachers, so I took care of that at various times during the day and kept up with my office email. But, other than that, I didn't think about work at all!

I could have made myself less available, but the days are ticking away toward my transition to the new job. I still have so much to do, and now only four more official work days in which to do it. Of course, I do have more days between now and August 1 that I could go in, but I'm trying to actually get my contracted vacation days taken (they don't roll over under my old contract, though they will with the new). Fortunately, I don't think my activities today interfered much with the main goal of my taking time off: spending time with the kids.

Gym Girl had practice from 9:00 to 1:00 today, so I dropped her off and then headed to the gym myself. I like to work out in the morning because then I have less excuses for not exercising. It's a bonus that in the summer I don't even have to get up particularly early to take care of it then. When I got home, Soccer Boy and Swim Chick had actually woken up and were hanging out watching television. I straightened up some so that the maids who were coming in the afternoon would be able to actually clean, and then we went to pick up Gym Girl before heading off to see the Harry Potter movie since the girls hadn't been yet. Following the movie, we ran to the store to pick up more lunch supplies and a few other things. By the time we got home, Adventure Guy was in and was preparing his beer can chicken to go on the grill. We'll have that along with the fresh corn and green beans I picked up at the farm stand for dinner.

Here's the recipe if you're interested in an easy summer meal.

Beer Can Chicken

1 whole chicken (4-5 lbs.)
1 23 oz. can beer (room temperature)
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 sprigs fresh rosemary
2 tsp. olive oil
1 tsp. dried thyme
1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes, crushed
Juice of 1 lemon

For rub:
1 tsp. paprika
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. fresh rosemary, chopped
1 tsp. dried thyme
1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
1/2 tsp. lemon zest

Combine all rub ingredients in a small mixing bowl. Set aside.

Remove giblets and the neck from chiken. Sprinkle all over with rub, including cavity. Open can of beer and discard half of it. Place minced garlic, roesmary, thyme, lemon juice, and pepper flackes in it. Make sure to pierce two more holes in the top of beer can. Place chicken on top of can.

Preheat grill. Place bird on grill balanced by the beer can. Grill over indirect medium heat for 1 1/2 to 2 hours or until internal thigh temperature is 180 degrees. Remove chicken and let sit (with beer can still intact) for 10 minutes before carving.

Adventure Guy plays around with this recipe some, using whatever herbs we happen to have on hand and substituting tandoori powder for the paprika. Tonight, we threw in some fresh basil, parsley, and some sage because I have a ton of all those growing in my herb pot.

Two Days Down

I'm proud to report that two days in to my new program I am doing well. I don't think I mentioned in my last post that I am also counting Weight Watchers points while I'm making the Phase Two Best Life changes. I've found Weight Watchers to be the best fit for me overall as far as portion control. Best Life just helps me with being healthier overall. So far, the biggest challenge I'm running into is the "no soda" rule. I drink too much caffeine, but I don't drink coffee, so eliminating soda completely led to a caffeine withdrawal headache. I decided to aim for only one soda per day and then hopefully cut it out all together.

With no sleep-away camps remaining for the rest of the summer, I've scheduled the next few weeks with a lighter workload so I can be home more with the kids. I worked today, and I'll work Thursday, but I was home Monday and will be tomorrow and Friday as well. It's been nice to have some down time with the kids home. Of course, I can't resist taking on some household things while I'm off. I need to clean out my closet and get that organized and then take on the girls' dressers and the game room. Fun, fun, fun!

I have worked in some real fun while I have a more relaxed schedule. I finished Dedication and am well on my way through the Stephanie Plum novel (more on those later). I also had a facial on Monday, and I've worked out both days this week: elliptical machine Monday and Pilates tonight. I also made a run to our local produce store to pick up fresh corn and some other goodies. We'll be grilling that tomorrow night along with some chicken. I'm hungry already!

My entries lately seem a bit mundane when I look over them. I hope people aren't bored to tears. But I'm enjoying a bit of the lazy days of summer and the opportunity to focus more on myself and my family.

1985

St. Elmo's Fire has been lurking around my Netflix queue for months now. I was in a bit of a nostalgic phase prior to my high school reunion in November, and I put several classic mid-eighties films on my list. I've been moving the current movies in front of them, but recently, Rob Lowe, Mare Winningham, Emilio Estevez, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Jud Nelson, and Ally Sheedy arrived to provide a glimpse of my past.

In June of 1985 when the movie premiered, Gorbachev had just taken over as the Soviet leader, Madonna was launching the Virgin tour, "What's Love Got to Do With It" earned Tina Turner the best album Emmy, and I was about to begin my senior year of high school. I can remember seeing the film in the theater with my best friend. The characters' struggles with what to do with their lives after college graduation spoke to us as we wondered where the choices we would make that year would lead us.

We were sure of a few things, though, as we sat in one of our cars, hanging out before it was time to go home to make curfew, listening to Air Supply, Foreigner, or maybe even "Man In Motion" from the movie. We knew that, no matter what the adults in our lives told us, we'd always love McDonald's. A Chicken McNugget happy meal was clearly the perfect midnight snack. We knew that we'd always be friends, and nothing could come between us. And of course, we knew that no matter what, and whether we wanted to admit it or not, come May of 1986, everything we knew was likely to change.

And it did. Oh, the scene in St. Elmo's Fire where the mother whispers words like cancer, extremely wealthy, and drugs still makes me giggle, just like it did then. But the drugs aren't so funny anymore, and they're what came between me and my friend. Her descent into the world of eating disorders, alcohol abuse, and eventually drugs ended any chances we had of remaining close. I lost her well before her conviction for distributing meth last year. When I think of her, I try to picture the smart, beautiful girl with the world outstretched before her that I knew rather than the mug shot that is the most recent photo I've seen. We chose different paths, and her negative-image life helps show me how fortunate that I am.

Mare Winningham, who played the innocent, serious daughter to that rather uptight mother, is now playing the "mother" roles, most recently as Meredith Grey's step-mother in Grey's Anatomy. Twenty-two years can certainly do that to an actress' career. I'm amazed, though, when I consider those years went by so quickly. And now, somehow, I'm the mother. Swim Chick will be the same age I was when I saw St. Elmo's Fire in four years. I just wish I knew as much now as I believed I did at 17. Don't we all?

None of the Ashes; All of the Guilt

So, today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. I should have gone to church, and in years past I've tended to be very observant of this day on the religious calendar. This year, it's all passed in a blur. I have been thinking a bit about whether or not I'll give anything up this year, and I haven't decided. I'm nearing the point of committing again to a regular exercise regimen and a healthy diet, but I dislike that kind of thing as a Lenten commitment. For me, things like committing to doing more charity work or more Bible study or devotionals seem more on track.

Not one to miss out on anything, however, I did not let the fact that I did not attend a service that would encourage me to think about atoning for my sins prevent me from piling up a few more items to regret over the next few weeks. Life has been hectic here. I leave for the NASSP convention tomorrow afternoon, so I've been running at full-tilt at work preparing both for the presentation and for being out of the office for two days. My Junior League committee commitments are also at their peak right now, and I've had late meetings the previous two evenings. I came home today intent upon having a nice dinner with the family and a calm evening.

It didn't happen. I arrived home at about 7:00 having run errands all afternoon and then picked up Soccer Boy from daycare and Gym Girl from the gym. It was clear that Adventure Guy was not in the best mood. We got dinner on the table, but the tenor was not quite what I had hoped. Everyone was a bit on edge since the kids had not been as responsive as they should have been to being asked to take care of some things around the house. After dinner it went downhill from there when Swim Chick needed help on her Algebra homework. She tends to completely shut down if she doesn't know how to do a problem, conveniently "forgetting" things she's been able to do routinely for months. Let's just say the interaction between Swim Chick and Adventure Guy and then Swim Chick and myself was not pretty. The grownups need to learn to deal a bit better with frustration, or at least to deal with it a bit more quietly. Oh well, what's an Ash Wednesday without a good source of guilt?

In the end, tears were dried, homework was complete, and kids were put to bed. Now I've got to get packed and try to take care of Adventure Guy whose earlier crankiness I've now discovered is likely related to the 102 degrees of fever he's running. And, yes, I'm leaving him until Monday to take care of the myriad details of the weekend kids' activities. GUILT, GUILT, GUILT!

Blech!

Right now everything seems overwhelming. I am swamped at work and feel like I am not getting things that should be done completed. I need several more hours in the day to catch up from being out of the office. And, of course, today was the day that I had to show up at a meeting that started at noon and ended at 5:30. I so needed to be in the office but couldn't duck out of this commitment.

At least this weekend we have some fun things planned. Tomorrow night Adventure Guy and I are going to a benefit for the opera guild. I'm looking forward to it because we're sharing a table with a number of my friends and their husbands. Saturday we have a baby shower for Gym Girl's coach, and then she and I are headed out of town for her meet on Sunday morning. I'm looking forward to spending some one on one time with Gym Girl. Sometimes she gets a bit lost in the mix. I hate it that we fall into that "middle child" family dynamics stereotype, but I know we do at times.

I wish I felt a little more inspired on the posting front, but this is all I have for today. Wish me luck in catching up tomorrow!

Feeling Better

I am feeling much better than I did yesterday afternoon. I bucked up, went to the office, worked several hours and got generally caught up on that front, made the decision to go ahead and meet with my Junior League committee, and followed Alto2 and Adventure Guy's advice to just make sure the areas of the house people would see would look good and move on from there.

Tonight I ordered several things from Pei Wei and served them on some lovely paper plates I picked up at Target. While at Target, I also bought some mini pecan tarts, blondies, and brownies, all of which looked homemade, especially when I put them on one of my own trays. Couple that with a bottle of red and a bottle of white as Billy Joel would say, and I was set for my meeting. We got a lot of work done, and I'll be able to leave for my business trip without feeling like I have tons of stuff hanging over my head or that I'm falling down on the job.

Adventure Guy once again gets kudos for managing all the kid activity and dinner duties as well as for taking Swim Chick to Borders to spend some of her birthday money. She bought Forever in Blue, the new Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants book. If you haven't read this young adult series, I highly recommend it. Swim Chick gets extra points for turning over her copy to me since she is finishing another book and knows I can have this one read before she needs it. My goal for the next two days before I leave on my business trip is to be nice to my family so that they will miss me while I'm gone rather than celebrate!

Venting

I need to vent, but first on a positive note Wi-Fi rocks. How else would I be able to vent from the convenience of the local car wash, simply by toting in my laptop?

Now right to the point. I have been in a horrible mood all weekend long. I don't have a particularly good reason for it, but I'm stressed and unhappy and in general not being very nice to Adventure Guy and the kids. To Adventure Guy's credit, he is trying to help; he's just at a loss as far as exactly what to do. And I'll admit that his attempts have not been met with the best response either. Honestly, right now they just tend to piss me off more. It's not rational. The good news, on some level anyway, is that I realize that it's me and not my various family members that's the problem.

The real issue is that I have too much to do and not enough time to do it. I'm leaving Thursday for a work trip, so I have even less time than usual in the office this week, and I'm still behind from our ice-driven week off. My travel is also causing a disruption to the usual meeting schedule of my Junior League committee, so I'm trying to take care of some things before I leave. Right now, I'm trying to determine if we should meet tomorrow night, and if I do make that call, I'll have to host at my house, which means preparing dinner for 10 and having a house that is presentable for people outside of our immediate family. I'm trying to take a deep breath, though, and realize that I can do that with a quick order to Pei Wei for takeout and some touch up work around the house. I'm just not good at doing less than the best for stuff like this.

After my car comes out all sparkly and clean smelling from the car wash, I am headed to the office to make calls about tomorrow night and catch up on a few actual work things. Then I am going to try to just relax, enjoy the evening, and be nice to my family. Adventure Guy is grilling steaks tonight. I think a nice, glass of good red wine to go with that is just what I need.

Accomplishment of the Day

As of about ten minutes ago I have successfully negotiated carpooling arrangements for Gym Girl between now and March when my previous driver will be available. I did some multi-tasking at the basketball game last night. Student supervision on one hand, negotiating for rides with my neighbor who was there watching her daughter cheer on the other hand. Said daughter will begin taking Gym Girl to practice once her own cheerleading practice is over after national competition in two weeks. That left me with only 1.5 weeks to figure out. Then, this morning, I had an email from one of the other team moms responding to my email looking for carpooling options. She will pick Gym Girl up until my neighbor is available, and I will take her daughter home. Excellent!

I am still less than healthy, so this post is going to be short. I am at the stage in this cold where I either need to get better or get sick enough to stay home. I am tired of just feeling bad and not at my peak.

Blah....

Warning, perfunctory post to follow. I'm having a blah day. I'm not feeling that great, and I'm not all that excited about the beginning of a new work week. I need to snap out of my post-holiday funk.

I did get most of my Christmas decorations packed up and put away yesterday. Why does it always seem to take so much longer to put them away than to set them up? I'm sure it's related to the anticipation of the holiday during the setup process. Also, I had lots of help from the kids in setting things up but not a single volunteer for the undecorating process. Imagine that. Anyway, I'm down to the kids' artificial tree in the game room and the very tip top of our main tree in the living room needing to be taken care of. I decided to wait on our main tree until Adventure Guy returned home so that I wasn't dealing with the ladder on my own and twice rather than once. Now he just needs to take down the ornaments I couldn't reach, the ribbon, and the lights plus haul out the tree. I'm going to make the kids take all the things off their tree and put them away, so I should just have the tree disassembly upstairs and cleanup downstairs to finish.

Gee....a whole paragraph on putting away Christmas decorations. I bet my readers are truly excited now! But, speaking of Adventure Guy, I am very proud of his accomplishment this weekend in the Disney races. He did the half marathon on Saturday in 2 hours 10 minutes and the marathon on Sunday in 4 hours 50 minutes. His goal was to finish the half in 2. 5 hours and the full in 5 hours, so he exceeded those goals. He is now the proud owner of the Donald, Mickey, and, most importantly, Goofy medals. His marathon time was slower than usual, but I suppose to be expected after running the half marathon the day before. Again, this is something I will never know from personal experience!

I've had too much stuff going on the last several nights. I think that's contributing to the blah feeling. Thursday night I had a training event for Junior League which was followed by a Junior League Board retreat on Friday night that lasted way too long. Saturday I went to a wedding for one of my former students, which was fun but made me feel old. Tonight I'm chairing my Junior League committee meeting. Tomorrow night I'm on duty for All-American High's basketball games (girls at 6:30, boys at 8:00), and Wednesday night we have our first parent meeting for Swim Chick's confirmation class. So, by Thursday I'll actually get to do what I'd like to do right now, which is go home, put on my comfy flannel pajamas, have a decent meal with my family, and relax.

Tired

I'm exhausted. This week was draining for me emotionally as well as incredibly busy. Everyone at my house is feeling the stress. Adventure Guy informed me yesterday morning that he thought I should henceforth refer to him as Sleepy Guy. Somehow, it doesn't have the same ring.

Swim Chick is showing the distinct symptoms of her lot in life: being the first-born child of two first-born children. On my side she's also the grandchild of two firstborns, so it should come as no surprise that she tends toward perfectionism. Tears flowed yesterday on more than one occasion, first as she was unhappy with how her 3-D physical map of our state was turning out (it looks great, just evidently not as she had envisioned it) and then as she tried to master Central and South American countries, capitals, and physical features for her map test today. She had most of it down and had been preparing for several days but just could not get the last few details. Since I've spoken about my chosen field of work, I should probably not admit to having given the following advice, "Look, put this in perspective. You have a 98.9% in this class. The test is worth 100 points and there are over 1000 points possible this semester. You can make a bad grade on this test and still pull a high A." My darling little 7th-grade perfectionist had never considered this possibility. I'm sure at some point I'll regret introducing her to the idea of devoting effort to her studies based on how much she needs to do to pull the grade.

Gym Girl was near tears last night because she had forgotten her agenda and thought she MIGHT have lost it. I pointed out to her that she didn't know if she'd lost it or not and that if she had she could buy another one. She reported to me today that she had indeed found it, so all is right with the world. That is until she had another wardrobe crisis, which seems to happen daily around our house. She has a huge amount of clothes to choose from and ends up wearing the same stuff over and over.

Soccer boy is happy. Oh, the joys of 2nd grade! His big focus was on his spelling test today and the holiday party next Tuesday. He was also thrilled about his upcoming hunting trip with Adventure Guy this weekend.

So, what's in store for my relaxing weekend?

• Tonight: pick Swim Chick up from Odyssey of the Mind, take Gym Girl to buy birthday present, figure out what to do for dinner, collapse in my room to read or catch up on stuff I've taped on the DVR
• Tomorrow: have donuts and Gym Girl to gym for meet by 7:00 a.m., drop Swim Chick off to take SAT, return to gym to watch meet, pick up Swim Chick, go to see The Nativity, drop Gym Girl at slumber party, host sleepover for Swim Chick's friend
• Sunday: Go to church, do laundry, make appetizer, attend Christmas party

I was considering starting my holiday baking, but I know it will end up in the just-one-more-thing category, and I want to actually enjoy it. The kids and I always make iced sugar cookies, and I also want to make several other types of cookies. Not that I need to eat more junk. I need to get back on my workout schedule, but I think instead I'll be like Scarlet O'Hara and think about that tomorrow--if only I had that corset and the 17 inch waist!

When I signed on to Google this morning, I noted the unique picture for the day. I hadn't done any research, but I later read that it was in commemoration of the artist, Edvard Munch's, birthday on December 12. If I had only known it was foreshadowing for what was to come.

Today was one of those days that just makes me want to scream. I had meetings scheduled from 7:45 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. with no break. My 1:30 meeting was pretty casual, so I ended up eating my lunch while that one was going on. The afternoon meeting from 2:45-5:30 p.m. was one of those that I'm expected to attend to show support for some district curriculum alignment initiatives, but in which I don't have a large role. I serve as cheerleader and some times task master, but it's hard to keep from thinking about all the work piling up back in the office while I'm tied up literally all day long.

At 5:30 I rushed over to vote in our school bond issue election (it passed, yea!) and then home to pick up Swim Chick for her orchestra concert. I dropped her off at our school's performing arts center, went to meet with one of the other assistant principals who was still at work, and then went to meet the rest of the family at the concert. The 7th grade orchestra played beautifully. It's hard to believe all these students were beginners last year. I am very proud of Swim Chick and her progress on the cello. It's really impressive to hear all the levels since this December concert involves students from sixth grade through high school. This is also an occasion when I can fulfill both mom and principal roles, since I was able to visit with some of my high school students after the concert and tell them how much I enjoyed their performance.

It was now 8:30, and no one had had dinner. Swim Chick, Gym Girl and I went to Sonic, evidently along with half of the crowd from the orchestra concert. After a looong wait for that oh so healthy meal, we were on our way home to eat and deliver the food to Soccer Boy. Did I just write a post about eating healthier and using Super Suppers? Oh yes, I did. Okay, we'll be having one of those meals Thursday night.

When we got home, I went upstairs to the computer room to get on some of my Junior League stuff for Wednesday night. My committee is presenting the results of our work since August tomorrow night. No stress there, or anything. I'm in the middle of that and taking a related phone call when Adventure Guy and Swim Chick arrive in the room. Neither is happy. At all. Swim Chick is having trouble with her Algebra assignment but can't tell Adventure Guy exactly what she doesn't understand. He is frustrated, and she is crying. I get off the phone, we go downstairs, and I work with her to explain the concept. Adventure Guy takes a deep breath and comes back to help also. She gets it, and goes to bed. At 11:30, the day is finally over. I can't say I'll miss this one.

Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families

Recently I’ve been reading Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families which was edited by Leslie Morgan Steiner. The essays delve into the conflict that all mothers seem to face about their child-rearing choices, whether they have made the choice to stay at home, continue their careers, or combine both worlds through part-time work. During my reading, I can’t help but compare how these women have dealt with the issues that I’ve faced during my twelve years as a parent, in my case as one of the “career moms.”

I’ll admit that my guilt over working outside the home has decreased over the years, especially now that all my children are in school full-time. My kids by all accounts are well-adjusted and happy, which goes a long way in reassuring me that my choices haven’t negatively affected my family. That doesn’t mean that I escape the usual situational mommy guilt that comes from not being able to go on every field trip or answer every call for school volunteers. In fact, I just stopped writing to put a new school event on my work calendar, worrying both about making the event and how it would impact my day at work and my ability to get everything done. That doesn’t compare, however, to my response to the sometimes crushing blows from others early in my mothering career.

Throughout my years as a career mother I have been faced on more than one occasion with comments from my co-workers and neighbors, some of whom were childless, some of whom were stay-at-home moms, and some of whom had returned to work after being stay-at-home mothers while their children were young. Two different women commented to me that they had decided to stay home because they didn’t want someone else to “raise their child.” One of these comments was made as I returned to my desk after spending time pumping breast milk for my young son. As I thought of sleepless nights that had gone on for almost a year and of the all out effort I was making to provide him with breast milk while I was away, I wondered how anyone could construe my actions as turning over my responsibility for raising him. In the name of workplace harmony, I made some neutral response to my co-worker’s statement and moved on. I did the same a few months later when a neighbor held forth at length about how another mother, a physician, had decided to close her practice because “she finally realized her children need a full time mother.” I wondered what that made me. A part-time mother? When does that mother switch in the brain turn off? Turn back on? Again, I stayed silent.

My one leap out of silence was probably not my wisest social move. And, really, it wasn’t exactly about my employment status. At neighborhood Bunko night one evening, one of the ladies who was very active in our neighborhood women’s group began soliciting volunteers for the upcoming 4th of July party. In particular she was looking for someone to take on the task of purchasing hamburger meat for the barbeque. I tried to fade into the woodwork, and when asked directly about my willingness to take on the task, I replied that our family would be out of town for the holiday. This was actually the truth as well as a convenient excuse, but it was clearly not enough. As we rotated tables, I found myself playing with the aforementioned volunteer recruiter. She opened her volley with, “I just don’t understand why you don’t want to be more involved in our neighborhood.” The implication was clear, at least to my admittedly somewhat sensitive ears: “If you didn’t work you’d have time to do this.” For some reason, maybe it was the inevitable glass of wine that comes with Bunko games, I didn’t follow my usual silent path. Instead I replied, “You know, I work sixty hours a week at a job that benefits the community; I volunteer at my church and through Junior League, and when I’m not doing that, I do like to spend time with my own children.” All of this would probably have been fine had I not added the last line, “I don’t have time to price hamburger meat.”

That last line is one I’ve regretted for several reasons. First, and maybe foremost, was the small detail that Ms. Volunteer Coordinator ended up being Gym Girl's homeroom mom at school the next year. As another career mom friend of mine said, “You know your kid is getting the smashed cupcake at the next party.” Beyond that, I was greeted with amazement by said homeroom mom each time I darkened the classroom door. “Oh! You were able to get away this time.” On a deeper level, though, I realize that through my statement I had fallen prey to the type of behavior that I claim to despise. How was my condescending comment any different than those made to me about my choice to continue working after having children? Isn’t my making light of her contributions to the neighborhood and community just as bad? We need women who are willing to take on such tasks and do them well. I know countless people benefited from her work, whether she was paid for it or not.

So, the question is, “Why can’t we all just get along?” In the introduction to her book, Leslie Morgan Steiner says her goal is to end the cat fighting among women. The essays go on to show how mothers, despite which individual choices they have made, feel guilt and concern about those choices. Are we spending enough of that rare “quality time” with our kids, are we making valuable contributions to society, are we showing our sons and daughters that women can be independent and make their own choices, even if that choice is to fill a more traditional role?

All of these are questions to be thoughtfully considered, but one recent parenting moment helped make things clear to me. On my way home earlier this week, after having put in a rather full day at work, I was contemplating my afternoon and evening carpooling schedule when a favorite song came on the radio. I began singing along, somewhat distractedly. Soccer Boy asked, “Mom, is that you singing?” The implication that I should probably cease and desist was clear. I joked, “Hey, don’t you like it? Singing is my special talent.” As he giggled at this obvious exaggeration, Gym Girl chimed in, “No, your special talent is being our mom.” As I thanked her through teary eyes, I knew that she was right.

Just The Usual

I'm suffering from mid-week blahs. Those two snow days last week have ruined me. I have lots to do at work and very little motivation to get it done. I will because deadlines are looming, but I want to go on record as being opposed to working today.

There's lots of little stuff going on at our house right now. Nothing too big, primarily arranging to have everyone where they're supposed to be when they're supposed to be there, but it all adds up, especially when you add in all of the extra events that come along with the end of the semester and Christmas. Adventure Guy talked his mother into taking Gym Girl to her meet on Friday, though, so I am very relieved not to have to try to shuffle everything around with our work schedules. At the same time I'm sorry to have to miss seeing her at the meet. Gym Girl seems excited, though, about Grandma being able to watch her, so I will try to fend off the mommy guilt on this one.

Last night, I made some holiday treats for an exchange I have tonight. Swim Chick and Gym Girl helped me make holly clusters, one of the recipes from my own childhood. It's essentially rice krispie treats, except made with corn flakes instead of rice krispies. Add some green food coloring and red hots, and you have little hollies. The kids love them.

Holly Clusters:
Combine 1 stick margarine, 30 large marshmallows, 1 tsp. vanilla and 1/2 oz. green food coloring in large pot. Bring to a boil, stirring so that marshmallows melt completely. Remove from heat and stir in 4 cups corn flakes. Be sure corn flakes are completely coated with marshmallow mixture. Drop by spoon onto wax paper. Top with red hots to create holly berries. Let dry overnight.

The letting dry overnight part is essential to avoid majorly green teeth. My mom does not particularly like to cook, but one thing she's great at making is candy. Though her fudge is probably her best overall, the holly clusters are her most-requested treat. My siblings, cousins, and now the grand kids can go through a ton of these things at Christmas. I bought the industrial size corn flakes box at the store yesterday and extra marshmallows, so I'm sure we'll make a couple more batches before we're through the season.

So, what's your favorite thing to make for the holidays?

Snow Day Aftermath

In my profile, I mention that I work outside the home. My job, as an assistant principal at a school I'll call All-American High, certainly adds to the "balance" issues I allude to in the profile as well. Last week, we had one of those beautiful moments in the education profession known as a snow day. Actually, we had two of them. I was awakened at 5:30 a.m. on Thursday by my boss calling me to "start the phone tree" to alert our staff that they could go back to bed. You can not imagine how happy people can sound when they've just been called at 5:30 a.m. until you've told them they don't have to show up for work.

I spent Thursday and Friday enjoying my "found time" and got lots of reading done and completed Christmas card writing, online shopping, and decorating. I was relaxed. I was happy.

Cue today. Unfortunately, no one came in to do any of my work while I was away. My desk still is piled high, and now everyone is trying to reschedule all the stuff that was previously scheduled for last week. Add to that, All-American High is still playing football. We were initially supposed to play on Saturday night. The game was moved to Tuesday because the field at the university where the game is to be played could not be cleared and ready by Saturday after the snow storm. Today, we got notice that numerous pipes froze and broke at said stadium, and now, the game will be played Friday night. This, of course, came after I had made arrangements for all our activities scheduled for Tuesday night to be rescheduled and for our pep assembly (can't have a playoff game without one!) to be moved as well.

Did I mention that Gym Girl has a gymnastics meet out-of-state on Friday, and that I had planned to take Friday off from work and go with her? Adventure Guy and I are now juggling schedules and calling in favors to see who can cover which activities. Ah, the fun continues!