For Better, For Worse, For Back to School Nights, For Boy Scout Meetings

I owe Adventure Guy. He and I are both trying to get back into the swing of the whole working out thing. Except that he has more incentive than I do because he'll be running the Marine Corps marathon in a couple of months. But tonight, he postponed his workout so that I could make it to my Pilates class. My gym offers a number of classes, but I can only make the Tuesday evening and Saturday morning ones because of my work schedule. The last couple of weeks, I've had one thing after another come up, and I've had to skip class.

But tonight, I was set. I was determined to make it to class. I had a plan. I had worked it out with Adventure Guy that he would go run in the early-evening time frame and then take Soccer Boy to the Boy Scout informational meeting at 7:00. I would go to my class from 7:00 to 8:00, and we would all meet up happily afterwards at home. Ah, but the best laid plans o mice an men gang aft agley, and Robert Burns' mouse had nothing on us here in Suburbia tonight.

At 4:00 p.m., my cell phone rang. Gym Girl asked, "Mom, did you remember my Back to School night is from 6:00 to 7:00 tonight?" Uh, no, because it was on my calendar for Thursday night. Gym Girl said that not only was it written in her agenda for tonight but that her teachers also reminded them before they left school today. Great. I double checked the district publication that listed all the Back to School nights....6th grade, Gym Girl's school, yep, Thursday 6:30-7:30. I called the office to double check the night and time. Voice mail. I called the assistant principal's super-secret line (there have to be some benefits to this job). She confirmed a misprint in the district guide and mentioned the correct time in on the marquee outside the school and that there have been reminders in the agenda. Ummm...must not have noticed that.

I called Adventure Guy to inform him of the situation and tell him that I won't be making class after all. He promptly volunteered to go to Back to School night before heading to the Boy Scout meeting. The two schools are close together, and the timing actually worked as well. Since I am working hard on not feeling like I have to do everything myself and taking him up on his many offers to help, I actually agreed to this plan and thanked him. I felt guilty. But I went to Pilates.

I'm convinced that in all marriages, it's the little things that matter. Both the little good things and the little bad things. While seemingly small, Adventure Guy's willingness to put aside his own desires so that he could help me get a little time to myself means so much to me. It's those little gestures that say "I love you, and you're important to me." And year in and year out, I'll take a dozen little kindnesses over a dozen roses any time.

Nice Weekend

Why is it that I am able to post less frequently in the summer when my schedule is theoretically less hectic than I am during the school year? I'm not sure the answer to that question, but I noticed I hadn't posted anything since Thursday. I'm sure everyone has been waiting with bated breath to find out what was going on in Suburbia this weekend.

Friday night we went over to Best Friend's house for a little dinner and game night. Except everyone was too tired to actually play any games, so it ended up being dinner and sitting around their living room until we all admitted it was time to go home. Our lives are exciting. The good news was that this was a mutually agreeable conclusion. Best Friend is still in her baby and toddler parenting years, so she had not gotten much sleep the night before between night feedings and scared kids arriving during a thunderstorm. Adventure Guy seemed to suddenly be coming down with a little virus that's been making the rounds and wanted to get home to sleep as well. Fortunately, he seemed to recover during the day on Saturday, and it doesn't look like we shared the virus wealth with our friends.

On Saturday, we slept in and then the kids went to see Ratatouille with the same friends we hung out with the night before, or actually the older kids and the dad. Best Friend stayed home with her baby, and her husband was willing to take along my kids in order to have some help corralling his own. I was just thankful to have some time to work on my scrapbooking and to not have to actually see this movie, though my kids agreed with the good reviews it's received.

Saturday was also Adventure Guy and my 17th wedding anniversary. Several times during the day I thought about some nice things that I could post about that, but I never quite got around to it. I was too busy enjoying a nice dinner out and a trip to a grownup movie, Sicko. Suffice it to say that I am very happy that I was smart enough at age 22 to marry Adventure Guy and even happier that we have managed to grow together rather than apart over the last seventeen years. I know I've said it before, but he's truly my best friend, and I couldn't ask to have a better father for my children.

Today it rained, again. Just like it did yesterday and the day before and the 15 or so days before that. I am so tired of rain. We had a very relaxed day today. Went to church, ate lunch out, looked at some open houses (mainly just for the fun of it, though I'm always looking for the perfect house), and watched a couple of movies. I continued to work on my scrapbooking, and I'm officially up to July of last year. I'm feeling good about the progress I'm making on that front. I swear I will not ever get this far behind again! My goal is to finish at least all of last year by the end of July and then get started on catching up with Swim Chick's school album and this year's family album. The good news is that I actually find the process relaxing; I just got behind and then didn't put aside time to get caught up until now.

That's all of the excitement in Suburbia this weekend. I'll have a short week at work as we are headed out of town on Tuesday to visit Adventure Guy's dad for the 4th of July. More on those plans later.

Blur

Was that June speeding by? With the kids at camp, I expected to have plenty of time to relax and also to get some things done both at work and at home. That did not exactly happen. I'm amazed each summer by how much more work seems to materialize in my office. I swear I had some down time during the summer when I first took this job seven years ago. People often ask, "So what do you do up there in the summer anyway?" In fact, my colleague said to me yesterday, "If one more person asks 'What in the world do you guys do up there in the summer anyway?' I will not be held responsible for my actions." So yes, the question comes up often.

What we're doing is trying to hire the best possible professional staff including in my direct responsibility three counselors (two retirements, one transfer left these positions open), one special education transition coordinator, two social studies teachers, and two special education teaching positions (plus one more if I hire internally for the transition coordinator). I've been in what seems like nonstop interviews. I'm also finalizing the master schedule, which is somewhat dependent on hiring decisions and has a deadline of July 3rd in order to work with a planned system changeover in the technology department. Yesterday I spent all day out of the office at a district-wide administrators' retreat, thinking about what I could have been doing with my time back at the office. Not that it wasn't valuable, but it seems like the timing for that annual event is always off somehow. I am looking forward to tomorrow, though, where all I have on my calendar is one meeting with my social studies curriculum specialist and a haircut, the latter of which is sorely needed.

Adventure Guy and I have done pretty well as practice empty-nesters. We've eaten out a bit more than usual, and we worked together in the yard on Sunday between rain storms. We've also watched some good movies from Netflix and thought a number of times about going to see Waitress, which is still on my list. Maybe an all out last-ditch effort will be made tomorrow night. Oh, and did I mention our newest addiction? In the not good for the waistline category, we have the local organic bread store. Best Friend introduced Adventure Guy to this culinary delight on his birthday when she presented him with his very own rustic baguette and a "frequent loafer" card. What can I say? She knows my man. All month now he's been saying things like, "Since you're nearby, can you run by the bread store?" The baguettes are good but the challah is to die for. I'm also likely to be found on Saturday mornings circling the lot in hopes of finding the chocolate filled croissants in stock.

Thursday night our friends whose kids are also at camp will arrive again from Houston. We'll pack up the respective Suburbans and head to Branson on Friday morning. Friday and Saturday will be devoted to boating, fishing, and shopping (in no particular order). Then on Sunday we'll get to see the kids for a full-day of closing activities: track meet, swim meet, family vespers, cabin awards ceremony, carnival, camp term movie. Monday morning it will all wrap up for another year with the announcement of major camp awards and the results of the tribal competition that's been going on all month. By ten o'clock we'll be headed back to our rental cabins on the lake and soon after we'll hit the pontoon boat with the kids in tow this time.

It's hard to be this close to seeing the kids and not be missing them desperately, but things like this make it easier to take. That's Soccer Boy, clearly letting his cast keep him from enjoying camp!

A Step In Time

Adventure Guy's first job out of college was completing a management development program with Conoco. The program provided excellent training and was recognized throughout the industry. The only problem? It was located in Ponca City, Oklahoma, the original company headquarters. The good news was that he would spend one year completing the program and then be transferred into Houston, the current company headquarters. I was finishing college at the time, so our plan was to marry after I graduated and he was transferred. I would find a teaching job in Houston, and all would be well.

You may have guessed already that things did not work out exactly as planned. Only a few weeks before our June wedding, the director of Adventure Guy's division determined that it would make more sense for Adventure Guy to stay in Ponca City to complete his first independent engineering project, which was based in Wichita Falls, Texas, a city closer to Ponca City than Houston. All of the sudden, instead of moving to Houston, I was headed for Ponca City, which has a population of around 30,000 people but feels much smaller. Did I mention I wasn't certified to teach in Oklahoma? I've always told Adventure Guy that my willingness to follow him to Ponca City must forever prove my dedication to him and our marriage.

While the location was not ideal, the circumstances we found ourselves in led to real bonding with the other MDP trainees, all of whom were young, recent college graduates. We hung out together in bad bars, roadtripped to the nearby college town of Stillwater, and spent hours enjoying ourselves on beautiful Kaw Lake. I worked as a legal secretary for a local law firm and made more money than I would have as a first-year teacher in Oklahoma at that time.

Nine months later we were indeed transferred into Houston. The best part about it was that all our friends were going with us, all the Conoco employees having finished up their first projects. We are still close to a number of these people as well as to several who joined us in Houston, having completed the MDP in Denver, Atlanta, or Lake Charles. We enjoyed life in the big city, buying our first houses, eating in decent restaurants, and eventually beginning families. Little by little, people were either transferred back out into the field or chose to leave the company for other opportunities. And suddenly, it's been 17 years since we were all living back in Ponca.

About a year ago, Adventure Guy's boss from Conoco decided it would be fun to have a reunion of the people who were in Ponca City during the two years she spent there. She single-handedly pulled off the get together that took place this weekend. People arrived from multiple states to converge on the company party room for barbecue and catching up with each others' lives. It was fun to hear about who was still working for the company and what had happened to those who had left. Several people had brought old pictures, and it was amazing how little the group had changed. Adventure Guy and I got to spend most of our time with another couple we'd lived near in Houston and have kept up with but not seen in a number of years.

The town itself has, unfortunately, not changed for the better. Since our move, Conoco merged with Phillips, and most of the Oklahoma managerial positions were moved to Bartlesville, the Phillips headquarters. The shift in demographics is obvious, and the town has the feel of one that is in decline. At one point, as I stood outside a convenience store looking at the desolate landscape, I turned to our friend and said, "We actually used to live here. Can you believe it?" He replied, "I just try not to think about it." Though I haven't thought about our life in Ponca City for a long time, the thing I know I'll never forget is the friends that we made during that time.

May you live all the days of your life.- Jonathan Swift

Adventure Guy entered my life in a sea of red--red coveralls, red Converse high tops, and red dot stickers covering every exposed area of skin from face to hands. I'm sure you can see why it was love at first sight, or actually, why it wasn't! I should mention in his defense, that this particular outfit was a part of the introductory event for the freshman orientation program we would be leading at our university. Adventure Guy was the co-leader of our group, and I was one of the counselors. Our group color? You guessed it, red. I was 19; he was 21. Sometimes I think we should have some sort of voiceover narration for our lives, something like, "See that guy in the red coveralls? He will be the father of your children." At the time, I simply thought he was cute, and rather interesting, but there were no fireworks.

Fast forward a few months to our orientation group's summer activities. My interest level had definitely increased as I got to know Adventure Guy better, learning more about his drive and ambition as well as a decided "cool" factor I, the proverbial good girl, was attracted to. During a trip to Dallas, I managed to finagle a spot next to Adventure Guy on the couch during a showing of Robocop and fell asleep on his shoulder. He tells me that was his, "hmmm, there could be something here" moment. It took me years after our marriage to admit to him that there was any engineering to that "chance" occurrence. But Robocop is still our movie, romantic I know!

We were both in summer school that year, and Adventure Guy summoned the nerve to call me up and ask me to go to a movie. Then his conscience kicked in, there being a "no consorting" rule for the freshman orientation program, and he called back to let me know one of his friends would be joining us. They picked me up;we went to the movie; they took me home. No rules were violated. I wasn't sure what would happen next, but I was thrilled when he called and asked me to go to a concert on the 4th of July. He picked me up that evening--and brought along yet another friend, the eventual best man in our wedding. Even though we were still not out on a solo date, at least this time we weren't pretending it wasn't a date. We were making progress, and I've always counted the 4th of July as the anniversary of our dating. Two years later, we were on our honeymoon.

And, now, almost 20 year later, Adventure Guy is celebrating his 41st birthday. I don't know of anyone else who more lives up to Swift's challenge to truly live every day of our lives than he does. Adventure Guy skimps on nothing, not his work, not our marriage, not his parenting of our children, and not his desire to push himself to the limit. I admire him greatly for all these things. He makes my life both more challenging and more fulfilling than it would be without him. I thank him for pushing me out of my comfort zone at times (think scuba diving) and for understanding that there are just some things I will not ever do (think skydiving and marathon running). I thank him for being someone who's not afraid to argue. We're not the "hold it in" types, and there are often things we disagree on, sometimes rather heatedly. I have no problem articulating my position on various social issues because of our conversations. People often seem surprised that we disagree on a number of things but are still quite happily married. At least the poll workers seem surprised when we show up together and they have to look up our voter registrations in two different books! And while I have not lived up to his initial hopes that I would "see the light" and join him in his political party affiliation, I do hope, more than anything, that we've exceeded his expectations of what married life would be back when we jumped out into the unknown at 22 and 24.

Happy Birthday, Adventure Guy, and may you continue to live all the days of your life.

Of Tires And Men

I am a woman who likes to be taken care of--an admission I realize I'm not supposed to fess up to as an independent 21st-century woman. It's not that I need to be taken care of; I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself. Instead it's something I want.

Today, I exited my office at around 3:30 to make a quick run to pick up Gym Girl and get her to practice. I usually don't make this run, but I needed to because the girl who usually drives her was busy with graduation events. I hopped in the car, put it into reverse and immediately realized "something is drastically wrong here." A quick check revealed the back passenger-side tire was completely flat. So, I called Adventure Guy. After all, flat tires are the reason cell phones, roadside assistance, and husbands were invented.

Now Adventure Guy and I have a mixed history regarding my perceived need for rescuing and his inclination to provide such services. This is the man who went along to rescue someone else's wife during the 1992 Houston floods when I was trapped on the opposite side of I-10 from where we lived. His comment when I arrived home from work at 9:30 p.m. rather than my usual 4:00 p.m.? "Oh, I knew you could take care of yourself, so I wasn't worried." And, I know deep down that this attitude does not reflect a lack of caring, as it might appear to on the surface, but instead really does reflect his deep respect for me and my abilities.

Fortunately, today's event was much less critical than historic flood levels. Adventure Guy offered to come and help me change my tire, but I rose to the occasion and said I'd check with my Cingular roadside assistance plan first. He helped by looking up the number I was supposed to call, and I kept him updated on the progress. I am happy to report that the roadside assistance was prompt and effective, and I was also able to take the tire in to a local shop for repair prior to having to be at the gym to pick up Gym Girl (I had arranged another ride for her to get there in the first place!).

I'm pleased with the evolution of Adventure Guy's and my relationship in this area and our avoidance of any conflict over this particular event. I did find it amusing to observe the actions of the various other men whom I encountered during this particular escapade. First, my boss offered to change my tire (and meant it) and then, after I assured him that help was on the way, recommended the tire shop I ended up taking the tire to as being "good, fast, and cheap." He felt comfortable enough with my explained plan of action to head home without checking up on me further. The next man who arrived was a teacher from another one of the district's school sites. I know him, but not well. He also immediately offered to help me change the tire. We were talking when the roadside assistance guy arrived, and he wandered on off but stood across the parking lot to watch the process from afar. Two of our young teachers then arrived to check out what was happening. Both said they would have been happy to help me change the tire but also seemed relieved that the work was well underway. They stood around with me watching and making sure all was set before leaving.

I should mention that one woman recognized that it was my car that had a flat and came in to make sure I knew. I also had two offers of assistance from female colleagues. One offered to call her AAA service for me, and the other, whom I'll call Farm Girl, offered to take care of it for me herself. She once jumped my battery for me and changes her own oil, so I had full faith in her ability. As I did with my boss, though, I assured her that I had it covered. None of the three women seemed to feel any inclination to "check up" on my progress with the flat as most of the men did.

So the lesson for today? As I've always known, I am capable of solving problems like this on my own. And, as I now know, I also have plenty of people willing to back me up if I need a little help along the way.

My Cluttered Mind

Life has been hectic lately in Suburbia. Nothing bad, just lots to keep up with. Spring is always a busy time because school events increase for the kids and for me. I am thankful for my pocket PC which keeps me on track and for Adventure Guy who really lives up to the term "life partner"--not that either one of us is likely to actually use that phrase.

Here are a few things that have been floating around in my brain lately, in no particular, and in fact somewhat random order.

• The Gym Girl math dilemma. Where should I go next, if anywhere? I had an email yesterday morning from her teacher explaining the matrix they used to identify those students who were tested. Having seen the components, which I actually don't disagree with, I know why Gym Girl didn't qualify: one particular test she took two years ago in 3rd grade. I'm pondering my next move, and I think I'm going to give it a bit of time to shake out. Knowing what I know about parents in our district, I will not be alone in my concern. My guess is that the school will end up either doing more testing or allowing parents to opt their children in to one of the higher math classes. We'll see.
• Master scheduling. Creating a schedule of classes to be taught at a large, comprehensive high school is like solving a huge puzzle, a puzzle I must complete before students leave for the summer so that we can notify students if there are any problems with their course selections. All-American High offers 32 Advanced Placement classes and a variety of other specialized electives, some of which are only once a day, and it's inevitable that some students want two classes that are scheduled at the same time. We try to avoid this, and teachers try to work with students on options, but at times students have to choose one course over another.
• State-mandated testing. We have now spent two full weeks testing students in four core subject areas. We've given over 3,000 tests. We've disrupted the schedule of the entire school in order to meet the various time and scheduling requirements for the tests. We are also being required by the state to pilot two new subject area tests for which the testing window is entirely different. The test window begins May 7, and we have yet to receive an actual administrator's guide for the testing. Teachers are annoyed that they have not received more information and that we are unable to train them at this time in the online testing protocol. Can you blame them? I can't. I'm all for accountability. When this is all over, the paper will publish our scores, and people will compare All-American High to all the other local schools. How about some accountability for those responsible for this whole process? So far the pre-coded testing labels have been incorrect, the test materials were late arriving in our district, and the entire online pilot testing program has been rushed and ill-prepared.
• Another nod to the impact of technology on our lives. I just took a break from writing this post to give Soccer Boy his spelling words. When he spelled August, he said, "Caps lock A, u g u s t." Can't say I was aware of such a thing as a Caps Lock key in 2nd grade. Of course, my stating that I did not have a computer at home until I was in high school makes my children look as me with the same disbelief and pity that I directed toward my mom when she admitted to not having a television until 5th grade. Gym Girl is also on a campaign for her own cell phone and was SHOCKED to learn that I did not own a cell phone until the age of 28.
• Gymnastics. Gymnastics has taken over our lives to a greater degree than usual these days. The state meet is tomorrow. Gym Girl's level is conveniently scheduled to start warmups at 1:00 p.m. in the state capital two hours away. Lovely. I could have gone to work, rushed frantically through several things while constantly worrying about being late, and picked Gym Girl up just in time to drive through someplace to pick up lunch before hitting the highway. Instead, I've decided that Gym Girl and I are both taking the day off. We are sleeping in a bit, and then I'll help her get ready for the big event. In other gym news, we had the pre-state team dinner on Wednesday night. In honor of the occasion, the computer system at the restaurant promptly went down, requiring all orders to be entered by hand. This led to dinner taking over 2 hours to complete and therefore to my spending over 2 hours in a room full of girls between 7 and 13 years old. Let's just say that I now know that I was correct in my choice to work at the high school level.
• Housecleaning. I am looking around my house and admiring all the sparkling surfaces. No, I am not bragging on my own performance. Adventure Guy decided to surprise me with an early Mother's Day gift and contract with a cleaning service. We've had help in this area for most of our marriage, but last year we decided we needed to cut back on expenses, and the maid was one of the things that went. Theoretically, the kids are old enough to pitch in more. And they really did to some extent. We've just learned that we're a lot happier when we don't have to worry about spending the weekend cleaning.
• Presidential debate. It's almost like the kickoff of football season. With the Democratic presidential hopefuls debating in South Carolina tonight, the opening bell has sounded for 2008. I'm not sure who I'll support in the election, so I watched the debate tonight with interest. I had the chance to meet John Edwards in person last time he ran, and I still have a fond feeling for him. I'll admit to being wooed a bit by Barack Oboma, and his performance tonight was impressive. He's clearly very intelligent as well as thoughtful. Bill Richardson is someone I want to watch. I think he may break into the running more than has been expected. Of course, that leaves Hilary Clinton. I would love to see a woman elected president. I wish there was a woman running for whom I felt comfortable voting. I defended Hilary when she was first lady. I thought she was unfairly criticized simply for having an opinion and being willing to state it. And, of course, for actually having had a successful career of her own. I have not been impressed, though, with Hilary as a candidate. Her opinions seem based on nothing more than pandering to the latest opinion polls, and she comes across as condescending.
• Sleep. I am tired, and I don't really have a good reason for it. Sunday night I had difficulty sleeping, but I've gotten over seven hours of sleep each night since. Maybe getting a few extra hours tonight will help.
• Babies. My best friend's new baby is adorable. He's tiny and looks like an old man. He's a great snuggler, and I've been unduly accused of being a "baby hog" by my children who also wish to hold him. It's amazing to me that Soccer Boy is almost eight. Wasn't it just yesterday he was tiny like that? I'm happy, though, with our decision that our own family is complete. I find that as much as I loved having babies, I love having kids who are more self-sufficient and able to really interact with us even more.
• Fear. Today a 7th grader was abducted from her bus stop after missing her bus. She was by herself when two men stopped and one pulled her into their car. She was able to get out and run to a church for help. I know that abductions by strangers are rare and that it's unlikely to happen to my children, but hearing reports of this kind of event is chilling. Especially when this happened two miles from our home. I try not to let it scare me unnecessarily. The kids were out riding their bikes in the neighborhood this afternoon, and one of our neighbors told them about the abduction attempt and sent them in. Again, mixed emotions about that, annoyance at the interference, appreciation for the concern shown, desire not to allow fear to control our actions.

I am now going to try to put all of the above items out of my mind. Instead of pondering these and other things, I am going to watch Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy while sponge rolling Gym Girl's hair in preparation for tomorrow's meet.

Monday, Monday

Gee, only four more days until Spring Break. The kids think they are happy school's going to be out for a week, but they've got nothing on me. I really need to get away for awhile. Today lived up to it's Monday reputation in so many ways.

I returned home from the gym this morning to find SwimChick in tears. "Why are you crying?" I asked, a seemingly logical question in my mind. "I don't know!" she sobbed, "Have you seen my Croc's? I can't find them." Of course, lost shoes are clearly a reason for a complete breakdown. I suggested she look in my car since she changed clothes there on the way to her dance class yesterday. The fact that I had asked everyone to clear out all their junk on Sunday night in no way guaranteed that wasn't where they were. She returned, newly-found Croc's adorning her feet. But the sobbing didn't stop. She continued to sniffle all the way to school. I took her this morning because she had done something weird to her cello and needed the orchestra teacher to take a look. One cannot transport a cello on the school bus. It's actually a rule. I was proud that we made it to the parking lot by 7:18 a.m. because that meant I was ahead of the traffic pattern and would make it to work on time. Anyone ever hear that pride goeth before the fall? SwimChick stepped out of the car, picked up her cello, said, "I forgot my backpack" and promptly burst into tears again. While I know that the logical consequence would have been to let her deal with the issues that caused for her at school today, I instead told her to get in the car, and we made the 20 minute round trip to pick up her stuff and return her to school. I was officially late to work.

Work today was a series of meetings and deadlines. Nothing terrible, nothing particularly good. I hate when I'm out of the office so much for meetings. Plus our evaluations are due tomorrow. A few years ago the central administration promised to reduce the number of meetings we have right around major deadlines. So today I had a three-hour central office meeting and tomorrow I have one that will likely last two hours. Hmmm.....

Speaking of meetings, I had a Junior League one tonight. I got home and learned that SwimChick had continued with her bad attitude, causing Adventure Guy to refuse to take the kids out for dinner like he had planned. This put him in a bad mood, or rather reinforced the one he's been in the last couple of days. I hate it when we get in this cycle. He's annoyed with SwimChick; I translate that as his being mad at me for being gone tonight; he gets mad that I think he's mad at me. Ugh! I just want things to calm down some.

And, I'll admit it. My birthday is coming up, and I'm not very happy about it. I'll be 39 (really), and that seems entirely too close to 40. I've never really been bothered by birthdays or getting older, but I can tell that 40 is going to get to me. I'm also in that trap of not really wanting anyone to make a big deal of my birthday but being a bit disappointed that it's such a non-issue. Adventure Guy and I are going out with my best friend (whose birthday is today) and her husband on Friday to celebrate. I just hope we're both a little happier by then.

A Happy Valentine's Day

As I drove to work this morning, a light snow began to fall, so light that I didn't need to use my windshield wipers. Waiting for the crossing guard to wave me through the intersection, I had time to really observe the perfect, completely individual flakes displayed on the glass. It was the beginning of a day of small, happy moments.

When I opened my email at work, one of the data processing guys had sent an email to our counseling department thanking them for the card and candy they had delivered to him in thanks for all the custom reports he's able to run. He copied me because he wanted their supervisor to know they'd taken a bit of time to make his day. This theme continued with the delivery of "Teacher 'Tines" to our staff. The Leadership class at All-American High had coordinated the event, encouraging students to send a Valentine's Day postcard to any staff member whom they appreciated. Teachers, paraprofessionals, maintenance men, and yes, even principals received these notes in their boxes at mid day. I walked into the mail room as our day maintenance man found his cards. He didn't know what they were. When I explained, he took a moment to read them and said, "Wow, I guess you never really know when the kids are noticing what you do here everyday."

I'll admit surprise that I received cards of my own. One of the things I miss about not being in the classroom anymore is the close relationships developed with students who are in your classroom every day for an entire school year. It's difficult to build those bonds with 2100 students. What surprised me the most, however, was the nature of one of my cards. It was a thank you from a student I worked with this summer when he came in to take exams to place out of several math classes. As a recent immigrant, he needed to demonstrate his knowledge since foreign classes are usually integrated rather than identified as "algebra," "geometry," or "calculus." The note from him today said, "Thank you for taking time to let me test out of Algebra II and Pre-Calculus. It has made all the difference for me and my future." This simple gesture reminded me of why I do the work that I do. We are making a difference for our students and their futures, even in the seemingly small, day-to-day tasks that often make up our jobs. The testing that I do routinely twice per summer was significant enough to that young man that he took time to write and thank me for it.

Adventure Guy and I don't usually make a big event out of Valentine's Day. We exchange cards, and this year he bought me the book Teach Like Your Hair's On Fire, a book about Rafe Esquith who is a teacher in inner-city LA. Last night he also made sure we didn't have anything booked for tonight and let me know he wanted us to go see Music and Lyrics, the new Drew Barrymore/Hugh Grant movie. When I got home from work, we made sure the kids were fed and then headed out for the theater. If you have a chance, go see this movie. Talk your significant other into going with you. I laughed; I cried! It was definitely the best romantic comedy I've seen in a while, and I must say it was a perfect ending to the best day I've had in quite some time as well.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone out there. My hope is that all of you have the opportunities, as I did today, to see the difference you are making in the lives of other around you.

Proof!

Just didn't want anyone to think that I hadn't come through on my promise of decorating cookies with the kids! I feel so accomplished. This is one of those traditions that they really love but that often leaves me feeling more than a bit frazzled. I broke up the process this year by making the actual cookies on Friday but not making the icing and having them do the decorating process until Christmas Eve. I'd love to say that I managed to complete both those tasks with enjoyment and a full appreciation of the holiday at hand, but I don't like to lie. Let's see, the cookie making and cutting out session was interrupted by a lovely interaction with Swim Chick who is oh so almost thirteen. My friend with the 3 year old and I have decided that these two ages are really remarkably similar. Something not go exactly your way? A temper tantrum is clearly the answer. The decorating session was admittedly better. The kids had fun, and I did decorate some of the cookies myself after I had recovered from my annoyance about the mess they were making in the process. As Adventure Guy said, "and people call me anal." I'm just usually better at hiding it than he is.

We did have a very nice Christmas. The kids were happy with their Santa presents. Swim Chick got a cute dock for her iPod that is a player as well as an alarm clock. Gym Girl got the new bike we were waiting for; I'm so thankful it made it in on time. Soccer Boy got a compound bow he can use when he and Adventure Guy go hunting and some cool remote control helicopters. Of course, they also got a bunch more stuff, but those are the highlights. We are two Christmas celebrations down with two to go in the next couple of days, so none of them is deprived. We head down to my family's tomorrow, and I am looking forward to seeing everyone.

I received some lovely gifts, but the best one was the least expensive. Adventure Guy made me a CD entitled "Christmas 2006: Songs that Make Me Think About You." It is a combination of some of the songs from when we were first dating in college and some more recent songs. He said he knew I'd been having some rough days lately, and he wanted me to have something to listen to in the car when I needed some cheering up. The one that made me cry when we played the CD on the way to my in-laws house today was Blaine Larsen's That's All I've Got To Say About That. If any of you have a tip as to how to add a music file to a post, I'd love it. I can't figure out how to do it here. Anyway, it's worth a quick search on iTunes to hear the sample.

This got me to thinking a bit about the little things in life that make it worthwhile and how I often don't take time to appreciate them. So, my early new year's resolution is to try to relax a bit. To stop focusing so much on making everything perfect that I miss out on how good my life really is. Besides, perfection would get boring in the the long run. Yes, (she repeats to herself) perfection would be boring in the long run!

Okay, I'm off to make a pecan pie to take to my mother's tomorrow. I have the perfect recipe. Oh, wait, maybe slightly imperfect will be good enough. I'm going to have to really work on this resolution thing!

Fortunate

Yesterday was a tough day, and when I finally got home around 9:00 p.m. I was exhausted both mentally and physically. My presentation at the evening meeting went well. My committee really pulled together and did a great job, exemplifying what teamwork is all about. That was a bright spot, but it was also difficult to carry on as if nothing unusual had happened at work. I did so, not only because of confidentiality issues but also because it is just easier for me at times to carry on as usual rather than to explain how much events such as these affect me.

When I pulled in to my garage, I had that brief moment of wondering what would be going on once I arrived inside. I grabbed a Coke Zero from the garage fridge and headed in to find out. I was greeted by Soccer Boy and Swim Chick who both had their homework done. Then Gym Girl came down to say hello. Finally, I asked, "Where's your dad?" and was told that he was in the living room. When I walked in I saw that he was busy wrapping Christmas presents.

Adventure Guy's parents are divorced, and we do not visit his father at Christmas. Instead, we send presents by mail, and in his case through Amazon. To make it easier, he asks us to create a wish list and then has everything shipped directly to us. It's wonderful, and he's very generous. The downside? Our presents arrive unwrapped because the wrapping fee on Amazon is ridiculous, and the wrapping is not exactly what I'd call lovely anyway. The last two years, I ended up wrapping all of Adventure Guy's presents from his dad as well as my own presents. Not much of a surprise on Christmas morning, there!

So, last night, Adventure Guy knew I had had a rough day, and he knew I had planned to wrap the gifts to put under the tree. When I arrived home, I had a beautiful pile of gifts wrapped and ready for Christmas. I can't begin to describe how much his gesture meant to me. While I've never been one to turn down a nice piece of jewelry or other more extravagant demonstrations of affection, I believe that it's the smaller, day-to-day kindnesses that make a real difference in a marriage. His taking time to do this to me made me feel cared for and appreciated on a day I really needed it.